![]() ![]() ![]() It took a lot of courage to overcome this, and it’s something I still have to be very mindful and conscious of. This, for me, was one of the most difficult of all the symptoms of childhood trauma. You find it difficult to express vulnerability But this disconnection has been a powerful coping mechanism, and it served a very important purpose.Ĥ. Sure, maybe it is no longer serving a purpose in your life and it’s time to learn another, different, healthier skill. If this resonates with your personal experience, I want to emphasize that this is nothing to feel ashamed of…it is a natural response to painful experiences.īelieve it or not, disconnection is a skill that you developed as a child in order to help you to SURVIVE awful circumstances, and this skill has kept you alive until today. But I was totally out-of-touch with my body. In retrospect, I was feeling anger, grief, sadness, fear, and many other emotions. I didn’t know what I was feeling or where I was feeling it. When I first started working through my childhood trauma many years ago, I remember my therapist asking me what emotion I was feeling, and I honestly had no idea. I’ve struggled with each and every one of these things. Inability to identify where in their body they’re feeling a difficult emotionīeing out-of-tune with hunger, sleep, or digestive signals Inability to assign a name to what they’re feeling Adults who have experienced childhood trauma often struggle with things like: When we build up this type of protective mechanism, this “disconnection” from ourselves continues into adulthood. Spinning and spinning inside of us, and rearing its ugly head over and over…and over. If the energy of the traumatic experience is not allowed to move through and out of us, it gets stuck. What isn’t natural is for this to occur chronically or to continue into adulthood. In order to survive difficult and painful life experiences, we dissociated, or “disconnected” from the experience - in order to protect ourselves from feeling the magnitude of our painful emotions. You struggle to identify the emotions and feelings you’re experiencingĬhildhood trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, rage, worry, fear, compulsive cleaning, perfectionism, trying to control or change the behaviors of others (often through criticism or harsh sarcasm), inability to calm down once I was upset, and “stewing” in my negative emotions for hours, days, and sometimes even weeks.ģ. Many of the things on the above list have shown up in my own fight with my childhood trauma. Inability to self-soothe, or quickly pull yourself out of negative emotional states This can manifest in a multitude of ways: It typically shows up as an inability to control your emotional states or to self-soothe once an unpleasant shift does arise. You often feel out-of-control of your emotional stateĮmotional difficulties is one of the hallmarks of unprocessed childhood trauma. ![]() Negative self-talk or a harsh “inner critic”Ģ. No self-care practices, or difficulty making time to care for your own needs Poor boundaries (not knowing where your limits are or not consistently enforcing them with people who cross them)Ĭonsistently putting the needs of others before your own It was a stressful, overwhelming way to live.įor you, this might manifest as any of the following: I was constantly apologizing to others, I was meek and soft-spoken, I put other people before myself, I had horrible boundaries, and I was trapped in guilt and shame. In fact, I would honestly say that for a very long time, I actually hated myself. I personally struggled with low self-confidence and low self-esteem for most of my life. Regardless of the reason, so many of us were simply never modeled the skills to cope with pain and difficulty. Or, perhaps, we grew up in an environment where authentic emotional expression was frowned upon (or even punished). Not only because we’re small and physically unable to defend ourselves, but also because we have not yet developed the skills needed to process and move through the experience. We’re especially susceptible to trauma as children. You suffer with physical symptoms or dis-ease You struggle to identify the emotions and feelings you’re experiencing You often feel out-of-control of your emotional state Here are 5 signs that you’re one of many, many adults suffering from unprocessed childhood trauma ![]()
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